After posting yesterday, I began to go over all the thoughts I’d been holding inside over the past few months. But where I’ve been distracted with finishing uni and exhibitions, oh and getting a brand spanking new job, I have ended up neglecting my writing. I have always believed this, and I know for fact that my like-minded players feel the same. There is a workforce of playworkers that the majority of whom all care about children and work hard at promoting play, and then there are the remaining who, on the surface are enthusiastic and responsible not letting the people in our care come to harm. But, beneath this exterior of fun-loving is someone trying to earn a few bob. Now we all need money and we all do what we can to work, and I’m not insulting anybody for being in a role that is convenient and, let’s admit it, an honour to be in. But I can’t help feel this day in, day out, that we are split through the field. Maybe its through lack of training, lack of enlightenment and experience. Through lack of valuable connections made with inspirational individuals, or just that its not in your heart.

I feel these differences when chatting to passionate people like fellow player Joel Seath and mutually feeling that there’s a difference to ‘feeling’ it (to the point where a tear comes to your eye and you feel full of this strange energy) and someone who is there in person doing a job that sees them through financially. I’m not doubting these people at all, I was once somebody who ‘loved working with children’ despite feeling so tired after working with them, ‘cared about them’ and was happy to do the energetic stuff like chasing them around and being a really playful person. Then as I grew spiritually and matured as a professional I felt very, very differently to this initial ‘summer job’.

Joel mentioned to me in a facebook chat that its a constant ‘appreciation’ of play and what you see in every moment ie on the Tube. You look at a child’s eyes and you just click in that moment and you manage to break a grin out of them. Most people would rather look down and carry on reading their paper. So what I’m trying to say, is that maybe and very possibly, playwork is not a job you can be immersed in straight away or good at as soon as you start but something you have to grow in to do the job ‘well’. I say well like that I suppose because of my previous post about not being the perfect playworker, but maybe if you have this feeling/connection with your little/large people then that’s close enough.